Wake Up

Confusion hovers overhead
As she rises to greet the sun
She trys to piece her nights events into one
She struggles under her own weighing dreams
That make little sense
She looks for clues of her mistakes
To find her answers everywhere
She's gone and done it again
How will she fix this?
Her sticky mess is not reversible
But like all things you can't undo
There is always a way to hide them
If she pulls her self together she can turn it all around
If only she didn't wake up
She would have been safe for a little longer
Stop the pain of nightmares unleashed into her reality
But she can't hold back
She must give in
It's much to late now
She's awake and it's over
But it's only just begun
Time pulls back only to slam forward
And jerk her around
She trys to think clearly, though it's so hard
She woke up to a new day
The party is over and the fun gone
Only mistakes color her walls red

To A Friend

Is it true? What I see in you? Are you sad because of all the things you can never let out... The things that build up inside and add to the pressure

I can't understand much...But if you're hurt, that's enough for me to know. You may never read this, or know that I wished this...

But I wish you the best

I wish your hopes and dreams turn into your future

I hope everything you've ever wanted will come to you with ease now

Because you've done more then enough to recieve it already

You've helped me more then you could know

And I don't think I've ever been there for you

You may be breaking

or broken...

or just wise...

Because you grow silent and have few words of complaint.

Maybe I'm just crazy... for thinking what I do

I hope your happy for now and forever

I've always been selfish, though I don't mean to be

But right now I would rather wish that all the pain I see

In your eyes would disappear...

The End

The thing that gets me about books and shows, is the end. When I finish watching or reading a series I kind of can't believe it's done. For a while it's the only thing that occupies the empty space at the back of mind... meaning that even when I'm not fully thinking about it, I'm still thinking about it.
Especially with books. I read the last page and then flip to the blank pages after. I wonder what happens now. That's what is so strange. In real life there is never a time that we make one decision, one move, or take one step and it's over. No 'and they lived happily ever after and nothing bothered them again.' We can't make problems disappear and then fade off into the sun and forget about it. Our hearts could never be so automatic. The only end could be death. Couldn't it? Unless you believe there is something that follows... like after life.
But is there ever really a time in real life where someone can say that chapter of life is closed... move on and never think of it again. How can you never think of it again? The future can echo the past. There is no way of knowing if something is truly done and over.
One problem may be solved but there are more to come. That's always true. Tomorrow is not a promise... but a likely dream.
It's not a bad thing. What would life be without drama? Peacefully boring all the same.
Every action as a reaction. There are few ends. That's why it's called the CIRCLE of life. It just flows onward. No pauses or zooming out into the distance. Don't count on the black screen and credits to draw the curtains...
Didn't Adam think when he went to sleep the first night, that he would never wake up again? He discovered the beauty of tomorrow.

Of waking up to a new day that saves our yesterdays and promises our tomorrows... to start over with out erasing the old mistakes...

Make a small mistake and leave it... You can't get up without falling first.

He Doesn't Know

He doesn't know what I feel when I pass him by. He doesn't know that my heart stops beating and I try not to gasp. Just the sight of him takes my breath away... and makes me want to cry. Because I can never run into his arms and cry... and ask him to hold me forever. And be there forever. Not be like the other people who have left me alone. But he walks on by without even looking at me. The girl invisible to his eyes. He was much too good for me anyway... possibly because I only saw him from the pedastool I put him on. And he will never even know me... or that I was crazy about him. That I am giving up because it's crazy to want what can never be.
So next time I look into his blue eyes and he only sees the girl in his way... not the girl of his dreams... I'll smile to say I won't cry anymore, but I wish I could have known you. If we had shared secrets and laughs about the things running through our heads... and woken up just to see each other... and gone to sleep just to dream of each other... I would have been happy. But what was not even that... so small in comparison... was taken away... so I give up him... and leave him in peace.

Free Fall

If life were like an air tight bag we wouldn't be able to move at our will. We would suffocate under the pressure... just waiting to burst.

Then we would empty out.

But....when you free fall, nothing holds you down. Or pins you back.

But are you taking control?

Or are you giving in? Letting life take you for a spin.

Without taking it yourself.

Killing time with nothing. Letting yourself go.

Or are you breaking free from it? Thinking on your own account.

Letting the colors sink in. The wind wash over. So the ground can break your fall when you want it to.

Or you can grab hold of the hands that reach out, if you want to find the surface.

Or hit the ground.

Will you hit the ground running, have a plan. What comes next?

Is it a waste of time to fill your head with thoughts of promises, philosophies, fantasies, and goals for the future...that mean nothing. Or everything.

Wonder why and demand an answer.

Don't do what you're told just because.

Find the words you always wanted to say. The speech you wanted to give.

Even if you choke.

Get it out to someone.

Even in your last breaths.

Free fall...