Maybe it depends what you think of as a "love affair"- is there a certain richness to the emotion that's required, a degree of passion?- to make the statement true... the belief that "love affairs and dreams never die".
But let's just say, that it doesn't have to be a Romeo and Juliet romance, a Harlequin dream... perhaps it is just two people, with their lives in passing that for a moment consider each other as more.
Does that moment die?
I wonder...
Can two people have the potential to live a happily ever after but miss their moment?
All those soap operas and dramatic plays that depict lovers constantly waiting- one in a relationship, the other pining after them and eventually moving on just as they become single, etc etc. Being in different cities, schools, places in their lives.
One person is ready, and the other one isn't.
Can life play out so that those lovers never align, but are forever star-crossed?
What does it mean to say "they never die"? Will these dreams live forever in your heart, haunting you with promises that can't be kept?
And wouldn't that be simply tragic... to forever the chase an immortal dream that you can never live?
I'm not sure I'm comforted by that idea, that you can keep missing something great and never really know what you've missed. I also dread the idea that love can come into your life just once... and if you miss that chance it's gone forever.
I regret, in part, not valuing the chance I had with someone who is now emotionally miles away... But I also wonder if for some reason that was better for us? Maybe we'll get a better chance later... or there's a reason we never will.
9/21/12
Here's an idea...
My internal traveller is going NUTS...
I can't stop thinking about the future and excitement... I seriously need to be more grounded!
But... while I'm working on that I came up with this cute little life plan :)
This summer- do a course in spain.
Come home
Do summer school
Then begin 3rd year with 5 courses per term.
Next summer do 4 courses in summer school
Last semester: Just do my placement!
Graduate in 2015
Get my masters??
Finish that in 2016
Or travel and come back for masters!
Go to Australia for 4 or 5 months
Work, enjoy some culture
go on mini-adventures to new zealand
go to thailand and do a yoga retreat:
http://www.yogatraveller.com/node/1375
Then go to the UK for 6 months...
Volunteer
tap into my social work skills
http://www.csv.org.uk/volunteering/full-time/international-volunteers
see plays, eat food
have fun!
maybe go on mini-adventures to switzerland and austria and france
Come home...
2017- Life in the great beyond begins...
I can't stop thinking about the future and excitement... I seriously need to be more grounded!
But... while I'm working on that I came up with this cute little life plan :)
This summer- do a course in spain.
Come home
Do summer school
Then begin 3rd year with 5 courses per term.
Next summer do 4 courses in summer school
Last semester: Just do my placement!
Graduate in 2015
Get my masters??
Finish that in 2016
Or travel and come back for masters!
Go to Australia for 4 or 5 months
Work, enjoy some culture
go on mini-adventures to new zealand
go to thailand and do a yoga retreat:
http://www.yogatraveller.com/node/1375
Then go to the UK for 6 months...
Volunteer
tap into my social work skills
http://www.csv.org.uk/volunteering/full-time/international-volunteers
see plays, eat food
have fun!
maybe go on mini-adventures to switzerland and austria and france
Come home...
2017- Life in the great beyond begins...
4/13/12
All the things that make me happy (in no particular order)
The sun
Books/recreational reading
Music
Words- lyrics, quotes, speeches
People dancing
Nature (fields, parks, lakes, trails, forests)
Friends
Food
Long drives/ Road Trips
Cats (and dogs... pets are great)
Nostalgic relics/ memorabilia
Blogging/ Writing
Things that make me happy, but can make me crazy:
Family
Running/ Exercise
School (I like learning, not applying specifics)
Debate
The rain/ storms
Cooking
Shopping/ Clothes
The snow
Relationships
Books/recreational reading
Music
Words- lyrics, quotes, speeches
People dancing
Nature (fields, parks, lakes, trails, forests)
Friends
Food
Long drives/ Road Trips
Cats (and dogs... pets are great)
Nostalgic relics/ memorabilia
Blogging/ Writing
Things that make me happy, but can make me crazy:
Family
Running/ Exercise
School (I like learning, not applying specifics)
Debate
The rain/ storms
Cooking
Shopping/ Clothes
The snow
Relationships
3/26/12
YouOnlyLiveOnce
You only live once.
You got right here, right now- all you baby. This life isn't coming back.
So
Do you make the mistake?
If you only live once, you have one moment right now that could be good or could be great.
But if such greatness comes at the price, that tomorrow, you'll wish you didn't have another day, another moment like that.... Then, I gotta ask... what's the real sacrifice?
Right now is passing you by, but chances are tomorrow will soon be today.
What does it mean to live today like it was your last day?
Lovely, my dear... you can live your day with your head in the clouds, that fleeting love, the blurs of drugs and alcohol... late nights you don't remember... Those mistakes that turn into bad character traits that turn you into a sad person living this mad life.
My darling you can do that.
But I think life's too short to be a bad person.
That I would take the chance of losing what you could love in the face of risking away all you've earned.
What you build, what you create... the time you spent, it can all be lost in seconds.
But this lifetime... that you only live once... is not always enough to gain it back.
I think trust takes years to build, but a word to break.
Love takes a heart to give, but nothing to neglect.
A life takes months to start, and a second to end.
Regret can be infinite
what will you regret the most?
You got right here, right now- all you baby. This life isn't coming back.
So
Do you make the mistake?
If you only live once, you have one moment right now that could be good or could be great.
But if such greatness comes at the price, that tomorrow, you'll wish you didn't have another day, another moment like that.... Then, I gotta ask... what's the real sacrifice?
Right now is passing you by, but chances are tomorrow will soon be today.
What does it mean to live today like it was your last day?
Lovely, my dear... you can live your day with your head in the clouds, that fleeting love, the blurs of drugs and alcohol... late nights you don't remember... Those mistakes that turn into bad character traits that turn you into a sad person living this mad life.
My darling you can do that.
But I think life's too short to be a bad person.
That I would take the chance of losing what you could love in the face of risking away all you've earned.
What you build, what you create... the time you spent, it can all be lost in seconds.
But this lifetime... that you only live once... is not always enough to gain it back.
I think trust takes years to build, but a word to break.
Love takes a heart to give, but nothing to neglect.
A life takes months to start, and a second to end.
Regret can be infinite
what will you regret the most?
3/5/12
Burn
Hatred, anger, cold, heat, sadness, loneliness- all burn
So does strength.
Having the power to stand strong and hold your head high is like a burning sensation, like the force of overcoming adversity. Maybe like lifting weights or pushing through a hard workout. Bare with the analogy.
But at some point, you need to feel something different. You need to say it all ends here. I deserve better.
I won't do this is to myself.
Wonder aimlessly around looking for the answers, what's the point when you already know what you should do? When you're shaking, because you know it's wrong. Because you can feel it's about to hurt.
Why?
Are you lost, or getting lost?
You have to make decisions for yourself... know when to cut the strings that tie you to what you want to run from.
Here's the thing. Let's be brutually honestly here. No poetic shit.
When he holds onto you, but lets go at the sound of someone who can witness the scene... when he wants no one to know... when he says it your choice... but tries to make you think coming over would be a great idea... When he tells you to come over and you do, but he doesn't seem to be there anymore... He's fucking playing you princess. You ain't getting nothing here.
Don't make the same mistake twice, simply hoping that this time, it won't be a mistake.
Make the mistakes, look back and know you should change them, but know you'd do it all again because those moments brought you to now. Life isn't perfect. It's not about being fearless either. You can be scared and worried, but take chances. Go on a whim when you're not sure. Trust your gut when you do. Live fully... with a whole heart.
So does strength.
Having the power to stand strong and hold your head high is like a burning sensation, like the force of overcoming adversity. Maybe like lifting weights or pushing through a hard workout. Bare with the analogy.
But at some point, you need to feel something different. You need to say it all ends here. I deserve better.
I won't do this is to myself.
Wonder aimlessly around looking for the answers, what's the point when you already know what you should do? When you're shaking, because you know it's wrong. Because you can feel it's about to hurt.
Why?
Are you lost, or getting lost?
You have to make decisions for yourself... know when to cut the strings that tie you to what you want to run from.
Here's the thing. Let's be brutually honestly here. No poetic shit.
When he holds onto you, but lets go at the sound of someone who can witness the scene... when he wants no one to know... when he says it your choice... but tries to make you think coming over would be a great idea... When he tells you to come over and you do, but he doesn't seem to be there anymore... He's fucking playing you princess. You ain't getting nothing here.
Don't make the same mistake twice, simply hoping that this time, it won't be a mistake.
Make the mistakes, look back and know you should change them, but know you'd do it all again because those moments brought you to now. Life isn't perfect. It's not about being fearless either. You can be scared and worried, but take chances. Go on a whim when you're not sure. Trust your gut when you do. Live fully... with a whole heart.
2/6/12
Therapy
I will go willingly
to thousands of preliminary sessions
without following through with a single one
I am afraid
not of what they will find
or what they will tell me
but that I am
much worse than I feared
that all the things I struggle with
that I strive for desperately
that I excuse myself from
due to difficulty...
are within my reach
and the extent of my capabilities
and really...
there is no reason for me to need
the help that I so deserperately seek out
to thousands of preliminary sessions
without following through with a single one
I am afraid
not of what they will find
or what they will tell me
but that I am
much worse than I feared
that all the things I struggle with
that I strive for desperately
that I excuse myself from
due to difficulty...
are within my reach
and the extent of my capabilities
and really...
there is no reason for me to need
the help that I so deserperately seek out
2/4/12
"If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes ; cause you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart, where your hope lives. You'll find your way again."
I found this quote and was capture by it's beauty. However, I know it's from some movie, but apparently it's from Gilmore Girls too... one of my favourite shows which should really only make it better. Except, I can't find where in Gilmore Girls this is from... only that a lot of people quote it as being from Gilmore Girls.
Now this is gonna kill me.
I found this quote and was capture by it's beauty. However, I know it's from some movie, but apparently it's from Gilmore Girls too... one of my favourite shows which should really only make it better. Except, I can't find where in Gilmore Girls this is from... only that a lot of people quote it as being from Gilmore Girls.
Now this is gonna kill me.
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