Errmmm

You know that feeling
Like if someone asks you how you feel
You wouldn't know what to say...
You put a song on repeat
And start to think...
Before you know it, you're smiling
Or maybe you're crying

It's like having your voice caught in your throat
When someone is saying something really important to you
And you want to say something back so desperately
But you can't
You're practically screaming
Only... there's no noise

But that's the feeling
But not really
It's just how you get there
It's not being able to feel anything one moment
And then feeling it the next

It pops up on you
And you're surprised by it...
It's the guilt you feel years later when you realize you're wrong
It's the happiness that results from mundane but nostalgic memories
It's the day you wake up and have to cry without reason
It's the smile on your face that you can't explain

Lonely In A Crowd

They're moving by so swiftly, so silently- not acknowledging me. I try to smile but they don't see, I stretch out a hand that no one takes.
It's a blur. The voices and sounds and bodies touching, pressing against each other as their lives intersect. Footsteps deepen, as one by one, they are filled with new feet, walking the same path, the same decision, the same mistake.
We are so close, so similar, how are we so far... so disconnected?
I will never see exactly what you see, feel exactly how you feel, know exactly what you think, so can I ever say that I truly know you? Can you ever say you know me?
Or are we all forsaken be alone...
We are born alone, we die alone... but does that mean we live alone?

Release

You know what's the worst feeling? It's feeling like you are on top of the world, above the clouds, soaring above it all, only to come crashing down and feel terrible. Because then... you don't want to trust that feeling again, and when you get it, you walk away thinking that the roller coaster just went up so now it must come down.
I always say I want to free fall, and I do. The thing is, I don't want to hit rock bottom. I would love to keep falling though. When you're going down it means you know what's about to happen- no surprises. Don't worry, shhh, don't be scared.
While you're falling it's all fading away, sliding off of your body, those layers, that baggage. It'll dissolve and turn into nothing and leave you bare. Those burdens... they'll ease right off your shoulders.
Don't fight gravity, give in.
Sigh. Release your breath. You're not up, and you're not down... just in between... where it's safe.
You are completely safe to feel nothing.